My English Winter camp finished last week. My co-scholar Seoyeong and I were in charge of teaching 1st grade for the entire 2 weeks. Here are some memorable conversations/events that happened.

1. Stan (the biggest kid in class) started yelling at Catwoman (the BAMF). Catwoman got so frustrated that she just clammed up and took it until Seoyeong had to intervene to stop him. One of the other students, Worm, noticed that Catwoman was extremely upset.

Worm - Hey guys! Catwoman might cry!
Seoyeong - She’s not crying, Worm.
Worm - Awww…I’ve never seen her cry! Has anyone seen her cry?!
Everyone else - Nope. 

Yes…Catwoman is such a BAMF, none of her classmates have seen her shed a tear. She’s a 1st grade girl and she’s never cried. GG.

2. Worm and Tiger are twins. Tiger is the smartest kid in the class and actively participates and regulates the classroom. Worm is also equally as bright, but is not as willing to participate. Both of them like being distracted by toys and being loud. I figured out that the Push-Up system works pretty well. At first, I gave the two of them 10 pushups to do for any disruption. As they kept disrupting, they had to keep doing more and more. They got used to doing 10 rather quickly, so I had to up the ante on them, assigning them roughly 15-20 per disruption. At the end of winter camp, the twins were able to do 50+ pushups at once. So not only did they get a better knowledge of English, but they’re also fit as hell now. You’re welcome children.

3. Every morning, my co-scholar and I got gifts from our kids. It was always some sort of candy or cracker that they had. It doesn’t seem like a lot, but for 1st graders, it means a damn lot. Our kids are the best.

4. Catwoman (yes, again. There are a lot of funny/awesome events that she’s a part of. Coincidence? Doubtful.) started her own “Sticker” system. Whenever someone does something nice for her, she gives them a sticker from her little sticker book. When they have a certain amount (around 40-50), she gives them a prize (usually a notebook that she has at home that she doesn’t want). With the exception of the aforementioned outburst, no other student bugged her for the entirety of this system. Yes. A 1st grader figured out how to make all her classmates bend to her will. Damn son.

 

One of the cool things about the schools is that they give out little snacks to the students after each class’ PE Hour. Sometimes, it’s a juicebox and sometimes it’s milk. However, the school decided to switch it up on the kids today. The school usually throws in these small surprises…for morale reasons I guess. This is the roughly-translated version of the dialogue that went on as my 1st graders came back to class after PE.

Benz: Oh man…it’s so hot.
Worm: I’m sweating like crazy…(The kids did jump rope for PE)
Benz: I wonder what we’re gonna get today.
Chloe: Maybe a juice box?
Alice: Nuh uh! We had that yesterday! It’s probably milk today then.
Chloe: I hope it’s not milk. I don’t like it.
Stan: I just want water (He looks at me). Teacher! Can I go get water?
Benz: Hey! Tiger went to go get our snacks so wait!
Stan: Oh yeah…
Catwoman: It’s so hot. What’s taking him so long!
Worm: Hehehhe…what if he’s eating EVERYTHING!!!
(Tiger walks in)
Tiger: Guess what I have. Hehehhehehehehe.
(He lifts up the green yogurt cup and the white spoon out of the snack basket)
Benz: YOGURT?!?!?!?!!!!!
Kids: YOGURT?!?!??!!?!?!! ALSKIHDLAUSHDLAUNDLDUWNLAUDNLAWUIDLSAUDHALHLUNLU!!!! YAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!! ALSDHLUAWDHLWDULDNAMNADKWNLWDU!!!!


The kids savored that thing like it was the most delicious thing in the world. It’s not like the kids never ate it before. It was just them enjoying something that most people don’t really care about.

Moral of the story: Enjoy the little things because your life will have more awesome things happening more frequently.

I’m rather tired, so I’ll give a quick run-down of the hweshik.

(Hweshik is a staff outing, usually a dinner outside of school after classes.)

- Went to an awesome gogi restaurant in the mountains.
- Got to know a lot of my teachers.
- Was offered (from what I can recall), about 8 shots of soju (3 which happened to be the first things I ate/drank that day, because of missing breakfast and lunch).
- Found out some of my teachers are drinking buddies and they invited me to join their drinking crew (“2 bottle minimum a person to join” and even a DD).
- VP and Principal are some of the chillest people around (Principal’s son is my age and is at my dad’s alma mater in the states).
- A tour bus that doubles as a NRB, complete with disco lights  = extremely fun.
- Rest stop bathrooms are a God-send.
- Lost a lot of calories due to alcohol. Oh how I hate alcohol now.

My kids are awesome. Why? Here are two events that happened:

2nd Grade

We were playing dodgeball in the class, girls against the boys. Naturally, the kids took off their slippers to play (in Korea, everyone is required to wear indoor slippers in school). G-Dragon (Yes…he chose this name because of Big Bang) happened to take off his shoes and put them in a place where it was rather dangerous for the kids because they could slip. So another student, Jessica (named after the one from SNSD) did the nice thing and put the shoes over to the side. However, GD didn’t like it and confronted her. The conversation went something like this:

GD: WHY DID YOU MOVE MY SLIPPERS?!
J: It was in the way. it’s dangerous.
GD: WHO SAID YOU COULD MOVE IT?!
J: It’s dangerous. I didn’t want to slip on them.
GD: DON’T TOUCH THEM!!
J: I just moved them…
GD: NO. (At this point, GD started to shove her a bit)
J: Don’t push me. Stop pushing me.
GD: You touched my slippers!
J: Don’t touch me.
GD: Why? You touched my slippers.

At this point…the most epic thing happened. (Keep in mind that Jessica is the smallest, most timid and shy girl in the class, whereas GD is the loudest and most obnoxious).
Jessica grabbed GD by his collar, pushed him against the wall, and lifted him a centimeter off the ground and told him to “don’t ever shove me again”.

SNSD: 1
Big Bang: 0 

1st Grade 

Catwoman was being yelled at Worm for not sharing his markers with him. Worm tends to be very confrontational and does not know when to not say some things. Because he was fuming, he was just spewing insults to Catwoman, within a few feet of her. Catwoman was doing her best to keep it together, but you could see her fists curling up. Her friends were doing all they could to defend her saying things like “She didn’t have enough!” and things of that nature, but that egged Worm on more. Then one of her friends looked at Catwoman, who stopped coloring, and said “Uh oh! I think she’s gonna cry! Hey…don’t cry!”

Catwoman’s response: “I’m not going to cry. I refuse to cry. Tears aren’t worth my time.” Then she went back to coloring.

She’s a freaking first grader. Yeah…Catwoman is a BAMF.

When you come to Korea, brace yourself for the following:

1. Drinking 
When I first came to Korea, I heard people say that Koreans drink a lot, but the amount that I imagined was no where close to the real thing. Koreans do drink a lot, and it’s a lot more than most people think. If you go to GMarket (The Korean version of Amazon), there is actually a subsection called “Hangover cures”. I’m not kidding. 
For people that don’t want to drink or just don’t like to drink in general, I’m gonna warn you right now that it may be hard. It’s not hard because alcohol tastes like candy here and is super addicting; it’s hard because alcohol is actively encouraged during even outings/hweshiks with your coworkers (in my case, teachers). Hell, you can even purchase soju in a little box container, like what you would see in a child’s lunch bag. So if you don’t like alcohol, be prepared to reject alcohol a lot.

2. Kpop 
Another thing that most people don’t realize before they get here is how ubiquitous K-pop is. Alcohol is everywhere in Korea, but K-pop is everywhere that alcohol is, times five. Shops play the same hit songs EVERYWHERE. I’m in the rural countryside and I could’ve learned the new hit songs by walking into a random store and listen to the songs playing. Singers like IU, 2ne1, SNSD and the like have endorsement deals with all the major companies so you’ll have to get used to seeing them also. If you don’t like Kpop and you wanna come to Korea, either suck it up or just don’t come.

3. Cravings 
I’ve never had cravings for food this strong before…but omg…I’d do anything for some dirty Mexican food, and Pho with Sriracha, and Hot Cheetos. You think I’m exaggerating? Hell no. I’m certain that if I get my hands on a box of the snack-size Hot Cheetos, I can sell each of those bags for at least $10 each, easy.

4. Fashion 
Korea is VERY into fashion. Even the ones that don’t seem to care are still trying to wear something trendy. However, that becomes a very…negative thing because everyone is wearing the same things, especially the guys. Right now, if I go outside, it would take me less than a minute to find three guys wearing skinny jeans, a tucked in dress shirt, and a murse. If you’re into fashion, I guess it’s fine…but for me…it bugs me how much people looked like each other and there wasn’t a sense of individuality…(Sadly, I might conform and get a jacket that’s in style right now because it looks awesome).
Also, if you’re into fashion, Korea seems to be about a season or two ahead of the States, so I could buy something in-style at the moment and go back to the states after a year, and wear it and it’ll still be in-style. 

It’s been almost a month I’ve been at my elementary school. The teachers here are really nice. They were extremely relieved when they found out that I was an English teacher that knew how to speak Korean (Koreans are really intimidated by foreigners). I always get food from them like 떡 and fruits. Such nice people.

My kids are a different story. I teach grades 1,2,3,4. I don’t ever teach the 5th and 6th graders, which is weird seeing how most other teachers do. Anyways, my 1st graders are so awesome and cute. Freaking adorable kids. Their names are: Benz, Worm, Catwoman, Stan, Tiger, Alice, Goofy, Sunny, Chloe, Olivia. These kids are some of the smartest little kids I’ve seen. They pick up English words and phonics really quickly. They love songs and games, so that’s all I’ve been doing with these kids: songs and games. Tiger is the BA of the class. He’s twins with Worm, but he’s the more dominant one. When the kids are too loud and I threaten to take away a point (I have a point system, where 25 points = movie day). As smart and as cute as these kids are, they can fight really well. Tiger and Worm got into a fight one day, and Tiger punched out Worm’s tooth. GG.

My 2nd graders are my worst class. This class consists of Jessica, BlackHole, Milk, Tiffany, G-Dragon, RunningMan, Fairy, T-Ara, and Wall-E. They’re loud, complain too much, and are the most competitive. The girls and the boys HATE each other. I don’t mean that they dislike each other and won’t share with them. I’m talking physical altercations between the two genders every day. As much as they give me a headache sometimes for shouting at them, they definitely are the most fun because they’re the most feisty of the group. If one kid acts out, four others jump on them to shut up. It’s most interesting class dynamic I’ve seen. They can go from cooperating to unadulterated hatred within seconds. Definitely fun.

I see my 3rd and 4th once and twice a week respectively. 3rd has Kevin, Mia, Noah, Tiger JK, Nickhun, Belle, Prime, and…one more kid. I have yet to remember their names because I’ve only seen the class twice this month. Smart and good kids overall. Same with 4th: Ann, Anna, Angela, Princess, Cinderella, Lisa, Sonic, Walter, Alex, and Timmy. In 4th, the kids are really participative (is that a word?) and they love hangman. I’ve played hangman at least 10 times with that class. The cool thing about that class is that it has a 70” touch screen. SO FUN.

Overall, I love my kids. Wouldn’t trade them for anything.

This week was Chuseok, which is Korean Thanksgiving. I have yet to figure out the history of Chuseok, but I did learn one thing: it’s pretty quite awesome. How is it awesome? Three reasons:

1. Schools get out early on Friday so families can start their festivities and start heading to their relatives ASAP. My school, for example, ends around 4:00PM every day, but on Friday, we ended at 2:00PM. 대박.

2. Food. Check it. 
Breakfast:
  
Lunch:

Dinner:

- This food may not be the traditional holiday food, but who cares? 대박 대박

 3. Not only do you get Chuseok off, which was a Monday, but you also get one NATIONAL resting day. That means, chuseok is an extended holiday of at least 2 days for most people. And for students and teachers, some schools even take off the entire chuseok WEEK, just because they freaking can. 대 to the freaking 박.

I <3 Chuseok. 

Orientation is over now, and I have officially moved to my permanent residence for the next year (or maybe six months depending on whether or not I want to go to a different city). My city’s name is Bo-Eun in ChungChunBukDo. I’ll draw you a mental image of what this place is like:

First off, Bukdo is the only landlocked province in Korea. All you see are mountains around you. There’s nothing to do here other than climb mountains. Everywhere you look, there’s a mountain.

Second, Bo-Eun is a rather small town. I can probably go around the main part of town in fifteen minutes. It’s considered rural by Korea’s standards, but it’s got 5 cell phone stores (all with iPhones and Droids in stock), a Baskin Robbins, a GS25 (the Korean equivalent of a 7-11), an actual 7-11, about 6 PC Bangs, 4 Karaokes (one which I’ve been told is a secret brothel), and many clothing stores. It doesn’t sound too rural, which it isn’t, but there are the fields of rice patties all around town. 

I never realized how crazy Koreans are about technology until I went to visit an open class (a TaLK scholar’s class where we observe the daily teaching of someone else). We were observing a 3rd - 5th mixed class. This school that we went to is hella rural, like in the mountains with so many rice patties around it, you would die if you got lost in those patties. But at the end of the class, one of the 3rd graders ran back into class and pulled out an iPhone 4, complete with screen protector and a bunny-ear case (which seem to be popular amongst girls here). Think about it…a 3rd grader who lives in a small farm town…has one of the most advanced phones, while I’m here with a damn flip phone that can’t even play games. *Note: Only a few more weeks till I get mine. WOOO!!

Mmmm…what else…Oh yeah…if you wanna lose weight, live in a small town in Korea. There’s no way in hell you can gain weight. I’m pretty sure I lost weight because 1. Korean food is (relatively) healthy and non-fattening and 2. You walk so damn much.

Last thing: Australian accent is awesome. Go grab an Aussie friend and learn it. It’s so fun.

I met a lot of nice people here , regardless of how routine life is. Quite a number of Aussies, New Zealanders (aka Kiwis), and British (i’m gonna do everything in my power to develop a British or Aussie accent). The majority of people though are from the US (mainly NY, Texas, and CA) and Canada (Vancouver and Montreal). It’s amazing how many people want to learn about Korean culture, but have no ancestral heritage rooted in it. 

While I was here, for the first time in my life, I’ve actually started to consider living in Korea…for an indefinite duration. Obviously, my feelings don’t have much backing seeing how I’ve only been here for about a week now, but the place sure does grow on you. We’ll see how I feel about this once my year-long contract is over.  

I learned something new today (not related to teaching): Psychoanalysis without self-awareness is a bit arrogant…Most of you probably figured this out already, but this just occurred to me today. Too tired to elaborate. You can ask me later…
 (P.S. remember that I’m writing this when it’s past my bedtime, so that little golden nugget of awesome that I typed up there about the self-awareness may not be true.)

Peace.

I shall update this thing when more interesting things happen. The highlight of both days was that I went to NRB at night with the other scholars. Doin’ it Korean style.